G I V E Y O U R S E L F A B R E A K
6 + 1 Tips to Getting Your Life Back
As A Teen
Getting your life back together isn’t the problem
Accepting that it is part of growing up is
- ANONYMOUS
“I need to get my life back together”
Heard them before. Times without number. From others and from myself. And maybe from you. And it’s like the more we say it, the more we seem to be losing it. The mess might be so hard that cleaning up might be harder than throwing all of ‘em away.
Before we proceed, let these words sink into that deep part of you.
“Give yourself a break!”
Yes. Stop staring, close your eyes and for once, take a deep breath.
Good.
There are 6 + 1 tips up for you to try. They are not steps- so you don’t have to follow them accordingly. They are not rules for you to obey. They are just tips. Up for you to try. So you can start with any that best suits you. Oh! I’d suggest you start with the extra tip: the +1 tip. Comes in very handy. If you get this tip fixed with you, it would be easier to keep to the rest. You just keep a “fewi fewi” open mind and heart and we are good to go!
Tip # +1- Accept Yourself
You see, we can accept so many things: a friend’s behavior, a dog peeing on your boots or children tramping on your just-made flower beds for practicals (hmm! That might be so hard to accept) but sometimes, it’s hard to accept ourselves exactly the way we are. You can’t go back and change anything, so you’ve got to work with what you’ve got, and boy, how do you work with what you don’t what to accept? So let’s begin with simple accepting. It’s easy because that is what it says- accepting. You don’t have to improve or strive for perfection. Quite the opposite. Accept. Let go.
This doesn’t mean we are happy with everything about ourselves, or that we are going to be lazy with ourselves, and lead a bad life. What you are going to do is accept yourself the way you are, and then build on that. To forgive and build a strong friendship with yourself. What you aren’t going to do is to beat yourself up because you don’t like some bits. It’s going to take some time though, but I know that you are the capable teen.
Tip #1- Keep promises to yourself
Hey, I believe you’ve started accepting yourself. So good to hear. Now you have to treat the commitments you make to yourself as seriously as the ones you make to the peeps that means the most to you. If you are feeling out of control, focus on the one thing you can control which is yourself. Start making small commitments like eating healthily today or brushing your teeth before going to bed, to large commitments like breaking up with an abusive boyfriend. One step at a time Baby, no need to rush.
Tip #2- Do small acts of kindness
If you feel depressed or frustrated. You could start with this tip. One easy way to lift your mood magically is to do little acts of kindness to people and also to those that may not be able to pay you back. It makes you focused outward rather than on yourself. Go out of the way to say “hello” to the loneliest girl in your class, write a “thank-you” note to a friend who helped you out with something. Form a group with some of your friends and visit the orphanage. Compliment sincerely. Giving gives life not only to others, but to us also.
Tip #3- Be gentle with yourself
“Truly learning to love yourself” as Whitney Houston says “is the greatest love of all”. Being gentle means so many things. It means understanding that mistakes are inevitable, that wisdom isn’t about making mistakes but about escaping afterwards with your dignity and sanity intact. If you are a late bloomer-and many of us are, just be patient with yourself and give yourself time to grow. Laugh at the stupid things you do but never laugh at others- they are just as naïve as you are. Forgive yourself when you mess up and do remember this: one of the keys to happiness is a bad memory
Tip #4- Be Honest
Honesty comes in many forms. First, there is self-honesty. Is what people see in you the genuine article or do you appear through smoke and mirrors? Then there’s honesty in our actions. You can’t do wrong and feel right. But keep in mind that it takes courage to be honest when all the people around you are deep down in evil. Your strength becomes the strength of ten when your heart is pure. Honesty might not be the trend, but it is sure the best policy.
Tip #5- Renew Yourself
Teens, you got to make time to renew yourself. Time no other thing interferes at all, not even coffee. This is time for you to relax and recharge. If you don’t you will lose your zest for life. We all need a place to escape to. A sanctuary of some sort where all the noise is shut out. It could be a tree, your bedroom, or a bathroom. Anywhere you can be alone. Once in a while, more of the time, try to be more in with yourself than out with others.
Tip #6- Tap into your talents
Finding and developing a talent, hobby or special interest can be one single greatest deposit you can make in your life. Talents come in a variety of packages. Discover them and don’t think small. It may take time but remember Tip #3. When you do something you love doing, it’s exhilarating. It’s a form of self expression.
So my teenage friends if you need to pull yourself together start with these tips. Don’t be too hard on yourself. And don’t forget the power of commitment. It has power, genius and magic in it.